It was hard to miss the January cover of O Magazine. There are two versions of the divine Ms. Winfrey; one grinning and showing off her rock hard abs, and a more recent photo when she is heavier, her face a mask of embarrassment and apology. The photos and corresponding headline titled “How Did I Let This Happen Again?” will undoubtedly sell lots of magazines.

As I watched Television Oprah gain weight I often thought that amidst her immense success Oprah must need more time to herself. She says as much in the magazine, dedicating herself to improving her well being, and encouraging us to do the same. Yes, taking good care of ourselves is the foundation of health and beauty, but I can’t get over of the image on the cover of “good” Oprah and “bad” Oprah.

What matters is how we view ourselves and how that relationship unfolds. Oprah is compelled to play out her life to an audience of millions, but how you and I look is not that important to anyone else. How we think we “appear” is an interesting duality. On one hand, people look at our “appearance” and react, and we assume (or fear) that they judge us by what they see. But your primary relationship should be with yourself; how you feel in your body, how you respond when you look in the mirror or see a photograph

Let’s dedicate this New Year to having a relationship with your self-image that is interesting, rich, engaging, and rewarding. I advocate for more fun and less stress, knowing that enjoyment is part of Growing More Beautiful. Jane (my shopping buddy) and I celebrated the holidays last week by going to Old Navy and buying matching sweatpants, mine in vivid cobalt blue and hers in electric green. We tried on matching sparkly tank tops and shimmied in the fitting room. Jane just called to say she wore her sweats to the post office and stopped traffic. Never apologize for who you are, and let’s hope that this year Oprah gets the message.