My mother is nearing the end of her life. Anyone that has been through this passage knows it is fraught with anxiety, frustration, and sorrow. There is so much to attend to that it is hard to concentrate on anything else. Doing laundry is doable and the reward of clean towels is soothing. As I transition my summer wardrobe into fall/winter I’ve found a distraction even better than laundry: getting rid of things, especially clothes.

It’s easy to weed out the tired, the never worn, the ill fitting, the uncomfortable. I always have a donation bag going. One night, after the caregivers ignored my instructions and I spent hours straightening out their oversight, I found myself digging into my storage area of archived clothes.

I’m never going to wear this again, I thought to myself. And this. And this. The styles were timeless but let’s face it, they are now too small. I’m just not that person in size or spirit. I also saved some clothes that were once too big, but my post-menopause weight isn’t distributed in the same way so they are ill fitting as well. So long.

It’s hard to put these carefully cared for clothes into donation bags. It’s possible I could consign them but I don’t have the time or energy. Maybe some resourceful person will find them and give them new life. It doesn’t really matter. It’s time to let go.

Some of these clothes bring back vivid memories of when I wore them: the blue skirt when I was on TV in New York; modeling for Ooh La Luxe; a workshop at Athleta. I’m grateful for the good memories they bring forth. Goodbye, goodbye.

Through every phase of my life I’ve used some form of caring for my appearance as a way to support myself. Through international tragedies, economic downturns, and personal losses, I’ve found the thread that keeps the essence of who I am alive. I’ve written many times about the solace found in the daily act of getting dressed.

We’re facing a lot as a country right now, a consequential election only a month away. It’s a struggle to stay present with the threat of saying goodbye to democracy. Cleaning out and organizing my closet feels distracting in a good way. I’ve got the delicious promise of fall fashion catalogs ready to be reviewed and pasted into my lookbook when I need a break. I ordered a pair of plum colored wide legged velvet jeans and I can’t wait for them to arrive so I can mix and match them with all my other deep reds and pale pinks. It’s hot today and I’m wearing a miniskirt and sneakers. My cuteness cheered me up.

Ask yourself, where am I right now? What would most bring you comfort and satisfaction?

If nothing comes to mind throw in a load of wash and take a walk and breathe in the fall colors. Turn toward beauty as a way to sustain yourself. One of my clients made me a list of how she wanted to feel: comfy, complete, playful, slouchy, current, confident, casual. If those terms resonate with you take a look at Natural Life or subscribe to the Mom Edit  If you want elegant street cool with the best fashion forward jeans, check out Ruti. For reasonably priced classics, Quince is amazing. I just purchased my mom soft corduroys in her autumn hues of seaweed and soft brown. She has faithfully worn her colors since I did her first palette almost 40 years ago.

Thanks for taking this journey of letting go with me. I can feel you out there. Please take care of yourself and I’ll do the same.

Warmly, Jennifer
Looking for more inspiration? My past blogs are brimming with ideas..